I am a ninja. Yes, you read that right. I’m a proud ninja and can easily say that if it wasn’t for the mummies in my group who have been there since I was pregnant with baby number one, I don’t know how I’d have coped with this crazy journey called parenthood.
Why we call one another ninjas is a tale for another time involving autocorrect and late night baby brain (it’s a thing people. Baby brain is definitely a thing alright), but you better believe a Facebook group of 150 mums is more of a force to be reckoned with than any number of sword-wielding, speedy fighters.
In any case I digress, my group has seen me through two pregnancies, two newborns and one toddler who now has some awesome little toddler buddies she regularly plays with. From reassuring me that my giant swollen feet (affectionately dubbed hooves by my dearest husband) were normal (even if they did laugh at my pictures of what looked like loaves of bread crammed into my size 8s)… to sending gifts in the mail: at a time when I didn’t expect it (a lovely purse with my daughter’s name on it); when I was having a particularly rough time (ahhmazing Frank body scrub – I’ll never scrub with anything else ever again); and even when I excitedly did expect something from the postie (secret Santa mummy style).
The mummy gig is a minefield of stuff. If the many magazines, expos, books, shops and self appointed gurus are to be believed, there’s so many baby things that you apparently cannot live without – so before you lash out on that absolutely ‘essential’ wipes warmer, it’s great to bounce questions off the experts that’ve been there before. I don’t think I even knew what a Bumbo was before my ninjas were all squeezing their chubby little grubs into them.
Kidless friends, partners and your work colleagues may not understand the amount of time you spend on a seemingly cold social network. But from “what’s a Sophie?” to “what’s that rash?” other mums are your go to source and Facebook is where they’re at. My 150 odd kindred spirits were by far more useful to me than What to Expect When Expecting.
And they are there. All. The. Time. Up at midnight feeding? So is someone else. Up changing vomit covered sheets? Someone else is changing a pooplosion… My What to Expect book never chatted while I scrubbed poo off the carpet in the middle of the night.
Toilet training, starting solids or transitioning to a big girl bed? Who better to consult? What to pack for the first day at kindy? Ninjas got lunchbox ideas and scroll recipes coming out their ears. Need inspiration or motivation to shift those extra baby kilos? You will never be short of a positive word or nudge in the right direction toward your post baby body goals, and you might find a gym partner or pram walking buddy to help you get there.
Most importantly? Did someone diss you or yours? Mummy group has got your back a thousand percent. Do not, I repeat do not piss off a mum with 150 ninjas at her back. They are a supernatural entity that you cannot beat, and they’re not just keyboard warriors either – they will cut you.
Do you get your crazies? You betcha. It wouldn’t be an online group without soft-serve icecream boiling, curtain wearing nutjobs coming out the woodwork every so often. But you get wackos everywhere in life and things would be pretty boring without them.
The only real downside I can find so far is that mummies are enablers. Tread carefully if you have an addiction for cute kids clothes, or the latest toys or gadgets – by joining a mums’ group you’ll be across all the latest ruffle bum sales, swimming lesson deals and free kids meals within a 50km radius. During those midnight feeds when normal people are asleep, hide your credit card and just chat to the handful of mums also up late, just don’t click on that sale link!
My ninjas also have huge hearts. Truly massive hearts that make you want to be a better, more charitable person yourself. Thousands of dollars have been raised in philanthropic efforts for breast cancer, Starlight Foundation, an animal rescue charity, cancer research and numerous times have dug deep in support of another family in their time of need, both by raising funds and by donating their own clothes, furniture, groceries and baby goods. Many of these mums are facing their own financial struggles as they choose to stay at home with their brood or are on maternity leave.
So let me say this. If you’re pregnant or have a new baby, find yourself an awesome mummy group, whether through your hospital, obstetrician, ante-natal class, the Baby Bump app or through mutual friends also expecting. They will be your sanity, your counsel and sometimes just enough crazy in your life to pull you through the toughest gig you’ll ever do. Many you’ll never meet in person yet you willfeel like you know them better than your ‘real world’ friends. Others you’ll have play dates with and become true friends for life and also make some little buddies for your small people.
Let me also say one other thing. My mummies group is better than yours.
this blog is still a draft / work in progress. Pretty images etc to come. In the meantime feel free to still drop me a comment. I will add a subscription feature to the site soon if you want to read more.